I’m working on a more substantial post that compares several programming languages on a single problem. In the meantime, I give you something frivolous; my take on…
If Programming Languages Were Television Shows
F# – Mythbusters. We don't just explain the functional programming myths, we put them to the test. (Am I missing an eyebrow?)
Haskell – The Saturday-afternoon calculus course from the local community college on the public access channel.
Fortran – An old movie, a perennial favorite with classic actors, and the credits arranged in a matrix.
Java – Something on a business channel with a scrolling stock ticker and announcers who wear kakis and blue button-downs.
C# – Just like Java, but with fancier graphics on the stock ticker and announcers who wear power ties.
Python – Financial advice for the small investor. It seems sound, but which way will the market trend?
C/C++ – Some PBS hippie show about growing and canning your own vegetables. Who needs garbage collection when you can compost?
Lua – A late-night foreign art film in black and white by a visionary director. Deep, but will it find enough sponsors to go prime time?
Ruby – Star Trek. Geeky, gadgety, and tough on newcomers, but a fiercely loyal fan base will keep this series in syndication for a while. Beam me up, Matz!
FORTH – The Woodwright’s Shop. Watch a guy make handmade furniture using handmade tools. Be careful of splinters.
Assembly Language - A test pattern.
COBOL – Something on the radio your parents or grandparents used to listen to.
(Sorry, COBOL geeks, I couldn't resist that last one, lol. We love you anyway.)